+3 Calm
Abs are indeed made in the kitchen and not the gym! Eating healthy and eating to attain a goal are two different animals.
A few tips from my experience.
Always eat breakfast within 30min upon waking. Why? Your metabolism stays asleep and does not kick on until you put food in your belly. Breakfast is indeed the most important meal of the day.
Cut out all carbs from dinner time until bedtime.
Starvation or eating hardly nothing actually puts the body into a fat storing mode. When you're not taking in enough calories the body will save the fat and start eating the muscle. Many women are guilty of this type of so called dieting.
Figure out your tdee and always count your macros
Make small changes at a time to your eating habits. You'll be more likely to stick to it rather than making drastic changes or taking on a diet so extreme you'll never stick to it.
Don't use a scale as your form of judgement as to whether you are making progress. Use the mirror and a tape instead.
Keep in mind this is a marathon and not a sprint. Most individuals on here have spent many years working on the physique they currently sport.
Shedding fat and alcohol do not mix. You must give up the alcohol for the time being. Lots of carbs and empty calories in alcohol.
Write down your goals and maybe even find a pic of the type physique you want. Carry these with you at all times. When the temptation to break your diet or not go to the gym arises pull them out and look at them. Some of my best training sessions have come on days I absolutely did not feel like going.
Take weekly pics of your progress so you can view them for motivation. You and those you spend everyday with won't notice the transformation as much as those you only see every now and then. The pics will show you.
Hopefully some of these tips will help you achieve your goals. We are your support team here so don't be shy about asking question or asking for help.